It was in the ripples of the darkest time the invitation arrived. Maybe it was the darkness that enabled me to blindly accept without much forethought. Perhaps if I hadn’t already torn part the infrastructure of my inner self, still wading through the pain and smoke of destruction, the prospect of truly going alone would not have been an option.
There is no way to know. But it is one of the most obvious of realizations - this needed to be.

It was not the beginning, but merely a continuation of the breaking down. Even now it is difficult for me to seperate the people, places, situations from what was/is actually happening. The meaning assigned to the happening is still muddled with the temporal, but with each passing day I begin to see it more clearly.

Before I could begin to live my truest self I needed to identify the false that had invaded all ideas of who I must be.

Before I could recognize I was out of place, I needed to understand that I belong anywhere I am.

And before I realized I knew nothing, I needed to discover this is the only way to begin.